'Expectations ruin relationships' - The Garden Eatery

'Expectations ruin relationships'

April 10, 2021

When working to prioritise healthy choices, being mindful of diet, movement, rest and self care are all of great importance, however one factor that isn’t always considered, yet key to our health as a whole, is our relationships.

  • Relationships and connections with family and friends
  • Romantic relationships
  • Our relationship with food, exercise and lifestyle choices
  • The relationship we have with ourselves

With the pathway back to normality planned out, fingers crossed if all goes well, summer 2021 could be the opportunity to make up for lost time and finally catch up with friends and loved ones!! *typed with tightly crossed fingers*
So with that said, take a moment to reflect on your relationships in the last year – how have they been affected?

Of course, being less able to connect socially comes with huge challenges – missing people, feelings of loneliness or lack of support.
Our relationship with food may have changed, whether it is the main source of excitement, comfort or control during difficult times of uncertainty.
How we think and feel about ourselves may have been drawn closer to our attention, which isn’t always easy.
Pressure commonly falls on our romantic relationships, whilst our partners have been upgraded to our everything – filling the footsteps of our friends, colleagues and family members...a difficult and unachievable title.

With an understanding that everyone is in a different situation at the moment, and the impact this can have on our relationships overall, I wanted to share a quote that I heard on a podcast recently which challenged my perception of relationships and made me think about the pressure that can surround them.

‘Expectations ruin relationships.’ Melissa Ambrosini 

 Referring back to the key areas I mentioned above, with this quote in mind; when we put pressure on ourselves to eat in a certain way, we set an expectation which could affect our relationship with food. Because generally, the expectations we set ourselves surrounding our diet can be restrictive and unachievable, when they understandably come to an end, it can leave us with feelings of guilt and failure.
When we have unrealistic expectations in our romantic relationships, for example, creating a perfect image of a ‘date night’ which doesn’t follow suit – this can end in upset and disappointment.
The expectations or demands that we so often put on ourselves, to be productive or to constantly achieve, are not always sustainable. There is only so long we can perform before burn out stage is reached.
Sometimes, it’s not the relationships that cause the problem – it’s the expectations. The pressure that comes from the idea of perfection can cause more harm than good.

 The way in which we work to nourish our relationships is completely individual, and takes continued hard work, compassion, patience and communication.
As restrictions start to ease, consider the expectations you set on your relationships, both with others and with yourself. Working to avoid putting pressure on these relationships may help you to sit present in them, with less strain and more gratitude.

One place we can start is by investing some time in one of the most important relationships of all - the one we have with ourselves.

Holistic Health Coach - Anna Whyte 

The ‘Wellness with Anna’ philosophy focuses on taking a more balanced and holistic approach to health. Often, the tools needed to make a lasting change are already in your toolbox. I offer client led guidance in order to support the progress of an individual working to meet their personal wellness goals. I will not diagnose, treat or take responsibility for bringing about wellness change, but direct, listen and support development.
We work together on a journey to make health a main priority, both physically and mentally.



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